Driving Miss Crazy Part 2: Hit the Road, Jack

It's been a long three weeks, but I'm finally done with learning how to drive. So here's the rest of my blow-by blow account of how to get a licence from scratch in Japan, following on from Part 1.

Another coffee might be in order...

Step 7: Theory Classes part 2 - 16 hours

And you thought you knew everything there was about the rules of the road. The second half of the theory lessons deal with topics such as defensive driving, driving on expressways, parking and stopping, basic car maintenance and even riding double on motorbikes. In addition there were hands on lessons on tire replacement and putting on snow chains (watch which side you use, if you don't want to get a flat while driving).

I was really impressed that three hours were spent on dealing with casualties at the scene of an accident. And I can proudly say I now know how to administer CPR, which no one seems to want to do in Australia in case someone sues for additional injuries as a result. Better dead than alive and able to litigate, I suppose.

As a side note, in other places I was taught to check for ABC (Airway, Breathing and Circulation), but here they tell you to skip the circulation bit since the pulse is hard to find, and would cut into any time the casualty has left to live. Heck, I can't even find my own pulse sometimes, so anything that saves time works for me.

Step 8: Driving on the road - 19 hours

Like in Part 1, the practical sessions can be taken in conjunction with the theory lessons, with the caveat that you have to first finish the lessons about blind spots, driving under bad conditions, basic physics and car maintenance first. Since all the basic manoeuvers were dealt with in Part 1, most of the practical in Part 2 is done on public roads. Just in case any of you think you can practice on your own, think again. You need to have someone who's held a local licence for 3 years or more with you at all times on the road, otherwise you get into a shedload of trouble.

I was instructed to do the rounds of the neighbourhood near the school, and even made a few trips to my own neck of the city. During the course of the practical sessions I was taught how to plan routes, cope with night time driving, negotiate choreographed 3-point turns (called switch turns here - I sucked at them), parallel park and even handle emergency braking. There was also a driving simulator session (courtesy of Mitsubishi Inc.) that threw cyclists, drunken pedestrians, random motorcycles and crazy drivers at me. I managed to kill only 2 people on the way to my destination. Joy!

I suppose I liked the expressway lesson the best, being in control of a Beemer (luxury!) and zooming down the local expressway at 100km/h. What a rush!

Like in Part 1, once you finish the minimum hours they check to see if you've actually learnt anything before they let you take the actual practical test. Needless to say, driving like a maniac at this point probably won't do you any favours, so don't.

Step 9: Driving Practical Test - Approximately 1 hour

Luckily for me, I didn't need to go all the way to the local DMV to take the practical test (卒業試験 - sotsugyou shiken, literally graduation test). Which was probably a good idea, since I only knew the area around the school. That's right, the practical test is conducted on public roads too. Basically I was told to drive to a certain point in town and find my way back to the school, then execute a three point turn to get back to where I started from. Like in Part 1, the passing mark is 70 out of 100, with points deducted for missing lights, driving to close to parked cars or pedestrians, and misjudging the three point turn (mounting the kerb and continuing regardless results in an automatic fail).

The folks at the school were nice enough to ask all of us who were taking the test to try driving one of their dodgier cars into a padded concrete block afterwards (slowly of course), just to see how an impact feels like without seatbelts. Nice way to drive home the point (hah pun!). They made up for it though by giving us all free Novice Driver (初心者 - shoshinsha) symbols (called the wakaba or "young leaf" mark) to put on our cars.

Just to make sure that I knew my stuff before I tackled the final written test (本免学科試験 - honmen gakka shiken), all of us were made to go through a study session in the afternoon after the test, which just meant going through the model tests with an instructor. I thought I might be excused from it because I was violently sick from riding through Typhoon No. 20 a few nights before (more on that later), but I was dead wrong. I think I did alright though, even though I was answering the questions in a feverish haze. I'm so hardcore... O.o

Step 10: Driver's Licence Written Test - 50 minutes

So this is the big day, where it's decided whether as a gaijin you may legally drive on the streets of Japan, or if you're doomed to retake the written test in a language that's not your own. Fortunately, I was able to take the written test in English at Koriyama, which meant I didn't have to spend money to get to the prefectural capital, and even had a free ride to the DMV thrown in by the driving school.

I pretty much had to prepare the same documents as the first time round, in addition to my learner's permit (仮運転免許書 - kari unten menkyosho) and my graduation certificate (卒業証明書 - sotsugyou shoumeisho) which proves I'm not a maniac on the roads (in front of my instructors ^^). The run up to the test was pretty much the same as the first time round (¥2100 for the application form), except that this time the test consisted of 95 questions in 50 minutes, five of which were individual illustrated questions with three part answers. The stinger is that if you answer even one of the three questions wrong, 2 points get deducted from your score. And that's a real easy way to fail with less than 90% of the score.

After the test came the hard part: the long wait to actually get my licence. They only started the procedure to print the thing after lunch (¥1650 for printing costs), with a briefing to make sure everyone's particulars were correct, take our photos and only then, to actually print the licences. Then before they sent us on our way, there was one last briefing where they reminded us to drive safely, and where they showed us a massive book containing all of Japan's traffic laws and ordinances (like the Bible, but much less likely to cause offence). Then and only then were we given the green light (I'm on fire with these puns, I tell ya) to go out there and DRIVE!

Just for reference, here's an example of a Japanese Driver's Licence:

The big red shaded box at the bottom shows what vehicles the holder of the licence is entitled to drive. For example, this cool cat can pilot traditional Japanese wooden propeller toys, rally cars and even an assault tank. Nothing so flash for me though, but I'm happy with being able to drive regular cars, scooters and light agricultural equipment. I've decided that my parking needs some work, but other than that I'm ok. Really! Hey, why is everyone looking at me like that?