Driving Miss Crazy Part 2: Hit the Road, Jack

It's been a long three weeks, but I'm finally done with learning how to drive. So here's the rest of my blow-by blow account of how to get a licence from scratch in Japan, following on from Part 1.

Another coffee might be in order...

Step 7: Theory Classes part 2 - 16 hours

And you thought you knew everything there was about the rules of the road. The second half of the theory lessons deal with topics such as defensive driving, driving on expressways, parking and stopping, basic car maintenance and even riding double on motorbikes. In addition there were hands on lessons on tire replacement and putting on snow chains (watch which side you use, if you don't want to get a flat while driving).

I was really impressed that three hours were spent on dealing with casualties at the scene of an accident. And I can proudly say I now know how to administer CPR, which no one seems to want to do in Australia in case someone sues for additional injuries as a result. Better dead than alive and able to litigate, I suppose.

As a side note, in other places I was taught to check for ABC (Airway, Breathing and Circulation), but here they tell you to skip the circulation bit since the pulse is hard to find, and would cut into any time the casualty has left to live. Heck, I can't even find my own pulse sometimes, so anything that saves time works for me.

Step 8: Driving on the road - 19 hours

Like in Part 1, the practical sessions can be taken in conjunction with the theory lessons, with the caveat that you have to first finish the lessons about blind spots, driving under bad conditions, basic physics and car maintenance first. Since all the basic manoeuvers were dealt with in Part 1, most of the practical in Part 2 is done on public roads. Just in case any of you think you can practice on your own, think again. You need to have someone who's held a local licence for 3 years or more with you at all times on the road, otherwise you get into a shedload of trouble.

I was instructed to do the rounds of the neighbourhood near the school, and even made a few trips to my own neck of the city. During the course of the practical sessions I was taught how to plan routes, cope with night time driving, negotiate choreographed 3-point turns (called switch turns here - I sucked at them), parallel park and even handle emergency braking. There was also a driving simulator session (courtesy of Mitsubishi Inc.) that threw cyclists, drunken pedestrians, random motorcycles and crazy drivers at me. I managed to kill only 2 people on the way to my destination. Joy!

I suppose I liked the expressway lesson the best, being in control of a Beemer (luxury!) and zooming down the local expressway at 100km/h. What a rush!

Like in Part 1, once you finish the minimum hours they check to see if you've actually learnt anything before they let you take the actual practical test. Needless to say, driving like a maniac at this point probably won't do you any favours, so don't.

Step 9: Driving Practical Test - Approximately 1 hour

Luckily for me, I didn't need to go all the way to the local DMV to take the practical test (卒業試験 - sotsugyou shiken, literally graduation test). Which was probably a good idea, since I only knew the area around the school. That's right, the practical test is conducted on public roads too. Basically I was told to drive to a certain point in town and find my way back to the school, then execute a three point turn to get back to where I started from. Like in Part 1, the passing mark is 70 out of 100, with points deducted for missing lights, driving to close to parked cars or pedestrians, and misjudging the three point turn (mounting the kerb and continuing regardless results in an automatic fail).

The folks at the school were nice enough to ask all of us who were taking the test to try driving one of their dodgier cars into a padded concrete block afterwards (slowly of course), just to see how an impact feels like without seatbelts. Nice way to drive home the point (hah pun!). They made up for it though by giving us all free Novice Driver (初心者 - shoshinsha) symbols (called the wakaba or "young leaf" mark) to put on our cars.

Just to make sure that I knew my stuff before I tackled the final written test (本免学科試験 - honmen gakka shiken), all of us were made to go through a study session in the afternoon after the test, which just meant going through the model tests with an instructor. I thought I might be excused from it because I was violently sick from riding through Typhoon No. 20 a few nights before (more on that later), but I was dead wrong. I think I did alright though, even though I was answering the questions in a feverish haze. I'm so hardcore... O.o

Step 10: Driver's Licence Written Test - 50 minutes

So this is the big day, where it's decided whether as a gaijin you may legally drive on the streets of Japan, or if you're doomed to retake the written test in a language that's not your own. Fortunately, I was able to take the written test in English at Koriyama, which meant I didn't have to spend money to get to the prefectural capital, and even had a free ride to the DMV thrown in by the driving school.

I pretty much had to prepare the same documents as the first time round, in addition to my learner's permit (仮運転免許書 - kari unten menkyosho) and my graduation certificate (卒業証明書 - sotsugyou shoumeisho) which proves I'm not a maniac on the roads (in front of my instructors ^^). The run up to the test was pretty much the same as the first time round (¥2100 for the application form), except that this time the test consisted of 95 questions in 50 minutes, five of which were individual illustrated questions with three part answers. The stinger is that if you answer even one of the three questions wrong, 2 points get deducted from your score. And that's a real easy way to fail with less than 90% of the score.

After the test came the hard part: the long wait to actually get my licence. They only started the procedure to print the thing after lunch (¥1650 for printing costs), with a briefing to make sure everyone's particulars were correct, take our photos and only then, to actually print the licences. Then before they sent us on our way, there was one last briefing where they reminded us to drive safely, and where they showed us a massive book containing all of Japan's traffic laws and ordinances (like the Bible, but much less likely to cause offence). Then and only then were we given the green light (I'm on fire with these puns, I tell ya) to go out there and DRIVE!

Just for reference, here's an example of a Japanese Driver's Licence:

The big red shaded box at the bottom shows what vehicles the holder of the licence is entitled to drive. For example, this cool cat can pilot traditional Japanese wooden propeller toys, rally cars and even an assault tank. Nothing so flash for me though, but I'm happy with being able to drive regular cars, scooters and light agricultural equipment. I've decided that my parking needs some work, but other than that I'm ok. Really! Hey, why is everyone looking at me like that?

Restaurant Review - Suiryuu

One of the first places I dined at when I got here was a Chinese izakaya restaurant on the main street of the city centre (松明通り - Taimatsu Road), owned by a really hard working bloke. Hard working because the guy doesn't take any mid year vacations and keeps his shop open long past midnight. That's dedication for you.

The restaurant's name is 酔龍 which means "Drunken Dragon", and by definition is the kind of place I would seriously hang out at. The cuisine is Chinese, and by that I mean Chinese food that has been modified for local tastes. It's a little different from the stuff I get in Sydney, since some truly Chinese ingredients are a little hard to come by here. Notwithstanding, it's probably some of the best grub you can have in the city for a decent price (¥1200-1800 pp inclusive of 1 alcoholic drink), and here's why.

The Ebi Chilli looks fearsome, though being made for Japanese palates, is really mild by even Australian standards. Then again, I'd happily eat a whole bag of habanero potato chips in one sitting (with a glass of milk on standby of course), so it's a little hard to compare. Fans of Iron Chef might remember that they claim the dish was brought to Japan by Iron Chef Chinese's father, and everyone else jumped on the bandwagon afterwards. Don't take their word for it though, it's not like the show is a paragon of veracity ya know.

Back in Sydney, and pretty much the rest of the world, flied lice (hah) is made from chopped up leftovers so nothing goes to waste. None of that for Suiryuu though. The owner uses fresh eggs, chicken, pork and greens for his, and occasionally offers special variants with seasonal ingredients such as salmon. All this without a hint of added MSG! He'll also do special requests for allergy sufferers (no eggs!) so it's all good.

Oh, and it's "fried rice", you plick. ^^

Suiryuu's karaage seriously rocks my world. Boneless, seasoned fried chicken pieces delivered fresh and hot to your table with generous helpings of shredded cabbage and spiced mayonnaise for dipping. Excellent on its own or with a cold, tasty beer.

A somewhat unique dish at the restaurant is the cheese harumaki (springrolls). In addition to the usual turnip, carrots and mixed vegetables, these are filled with mozzarella (or similar) and freshly fried so that the cheese is still gooey. It takes some getting used to if you're more familiar with the traditional kind, but it's really quite tasty, especially with another cold beer.

One of the chef's extra-special specials is the gomoku ankake yakisoba, which is basically crispy noodles with a thickened combination sauce containing vegetables, chicken, pork and seafood. It reminds me a lot of the yee mee I used to eat in Singapore, so I can't help but get a little nostalgic on this one. Ah... good times. I'll have another Asahi, thanks...

One of the nicest things about the place is the way it's laid out. Diners can choose to sit at the bar where they can order mixed drinks or beer on tap with their food, or sit in the raised area (shoes off please!) and chill out with the zabuton and low tables. The interior is constructed mostly using timber, which gives the place a nice, cosy atmosphere. The latest pop music plays over the sound system, but is never so loud that you can't carry on a normal conversation. There's no pressure to order lots, and you can stay as long as you like (within reason of course... like not until 10am the next day).

In a nutshell:

Suiryuu
15 Taimatsu Doori
Sukagawa City Centre
Fukushima Prefecture
0248-75-5013

Cuisine: Chinese
Alcohol served: Yes
Capacity: 20-25 persons
Budget: Mid-range (under ¥2000)
Lunch: 12-2pm
Dinner: 6pm until late
Closed Sundays

Music Video: Kakeru Kawa Yo (Oh Soaring River)

Update! (22/10/07): The kids who were singing in the video actually won the contest! Wow, this is the first time I've actually backed a winner. Melbourne Cup, here I come!

The kids at my current junior high school are in the midst of preparing for their annual school open day, and the highlight is a choral contest between all the classes. One of the songs was rather nice, so I thought I'd try out my video editing skillz and put together a clip of a typical junior high school day to the tune. Did someone once say something about an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters and a copy of Hamlet?


Apologies for the lack of resolution; I filmed this all on my Olympus compact digital camera, which is much more suited to happy snaps. The original version was way better pre-compression.

Rove ain't got nuthin' on this...

Due to websites like www.engrish.com, lots of people probably expect to come to Japan to be tickled by the local English. At first I thought I'd be inundated with things like telephone manuals that tell you to "f*ck the phone" and other such delicious non sequiturs, but gems like those are surprisingly hard to find. Not all Engrish is hilarious, but I'll try my best to post any "what the..?" moments I do manage to catch.

And just to be fair, I'll start off with something seen in a health care facility in Sydney:

"That'll teach them about emergency fire exits!"

In the local supermarket:

Reluctant housewives take note!

On the packaging of a souvenir cake:

Ok ok, this one's a bit of a stretch unless you're from Singapore or Malaysia and know that "cheese pie" sounds uncomfortably like the name for a region of the female anatomy...

Oh yeah... I just realized that turned on moderation for everyone's comments, but didn't know anyone had commented in the first place. Sorry guys! I'll check more often from now on.

How to eat kani-pan

The locals here take their kids seriously. Actually they take people who act like kids seriously too. They go as far as to turn something as simple as eating bread into a fun activity, hence the invention of kani-pan. Literally "crab bread", it's a plain, soft bun for kids that's been shaped to look like a really cute crab. You could eat it just like that, but what fun would that be?

So here goes: a kani-pan, fresh out of the bag. So cute!

Break off the legs on one side and you get...

... an octopus! With wiggly tentacles!

Break off some more legs and you get...

... apparently a video camera. *shrug*

Replace a leg...

... to get a hair dryer (or a gun if you like). And most parents elsewhere tell their kids not to play with their food. Here it's an institution!

With some creativity one could easily make cuttlefish, butterflies or even the front view of a motorbike from a single kani-pan. It's not the tastiest bread, but it sure keep me occupied at breakfast. You know what they say... simple pleasures for simple minds...

Driving Miss Crazy Part 1: Japanese driving classes

Just because I like a challenge (yeah right), I've been taking driving lessons in Japan so I don't have to cycle an hour in the snow to get to some of my schools. So for those of you who need to know exactly how to get a licence from scratch in Japan as a foreigner (beats me why you would), here's a detailed explanation on all the steps involved.

Back in Australia you can just go to the nearest RTA, pass a quick 20-question theory test and get a learner's permit on the spot. Then all you have to do is get a full licence holder to teach you how to drive in a car of your choice and take the practical test when you're ready. Things ain't so easy here, even though the speed limits are unusually low. Maybe the high population (and obstacle) density has something to do with it. Also, almost everything is in the local language, so if your Japanese isn't all that flash, it'd probably help if there are a few native speakers to help out.

Grab a coffee or something, this might take a while.

Step 1: Registration

Get to your local driving school (ドライビングスクール), and bring your passport and alien registration card (外国人登録証明書 - gaikokujin touroku shoumeisho) with you. Also get a certified true copy of your Alien Registration Certificate (a copy of your particulars held at your local city hall - ¥200), and probably about ¥50000 to ¥100000 for the enrolment fee. Bring a translator with you if you're not confident in Japanese.

The folks at my driving school were a little reluctant to take a gaijin because of the language barrier, and this was made abundantly clear to me when I enrolled. I'm told it's their job to say stuff like that, but it does an excellent job of instilling humility and motivation, since people are making an extra effort for you.

Payment can be done in instalments up to the time you get your actual driving licence. At least this was the case in my school. The fee is based on the minimum number of lessons you will need to pass, though there may be extra charges if you need more time. It's probably a good idea to clear up any payment issues with a translator around.

Step 2: Basic Theory Classes Part 1 - 10 hours

How classes are scheduled depends on the individual school, but you should be able to find classes outside of normal working hours. If your school is particularly nice, they can arrange for you to be picked up from your home or work, then sent back once you finish classes for the day.

A point to note is that the textbooks are in Japanese (duh). Fortunately for the linguistically impaired gaijin, there's a version with English alongside the Japanese text. *Un*fortunately, it'll set you back about ¥9000-10000. The upside is that all the kanji in the book has furigana to help you out, so it's an alternative way to learn Japanese while you're at it. Also, the classes don't have to be taken in order, so it's great for people who are in a rush (like me).

And because we should all be friendly with nature:


I generally like to be the master of stuff, so this suits me just fine. *whip*

Step 3: Driving Techniques Part 1 - 12 hours

My driving school had a driving simulator which they put me in for my first practical lesson. While not the most accurate mockup of the look and feel of driving, at least you won't break anything on your first go. They also had a large collection of instructor cars in the back, and they all had passenger side brake pedals and mirrors everywhere.

The rest of my 12 hours were spent practicing on the school's circuit, which crams a lot of twists, turns, crossings and even slopes into an area smaller than a regular athletic track. I can't be sure if it's a standardized design, but it's important to note that the first (and perhaps final) driving test will be based on a circuit, not on actual roads. So it pays to know what you're up against by checking out the circuit of the DMV (運転免許センター - unten menkyo sentaa) or equivalent you will be taking your test at.

Some schools might not allow you to take more than 2 practical lessons a day, others might not allow you to take them consecutively. Best to check beforehand.

Time saving tip: the theory and practical lessons can be taken concurrently, so you can zip through this part relatively quickly. I took no more than 2 weeks to finish the lot by going to the school almost every day and pulling all day sessions on weekends.

Step 4: Aptitude Test - 20 minutes

I was required to take a test to gauge my reaction speed, judgement and accuracy as a formality before I could proceed beyond basic lessons. The test (適性検査 - tekisei kensa) involves a series of questions where you have to quickly or accurately match symbols, identify correct ones or draw shapes, plus an additional section of yes/no questions to determine your personality traits. I liked the one that asked if I've ever heard voices that weren't there (who said that?). It's a really good idea to bring a translator or interpreter for this one.

While they're not going to stop you from getting your licence if you turn out to be an overanxious schizophrenic with poor judgement (at least I hope not), the results will be significant further down the track. I think they also modify the practical instruction based on any tendencies to misjudge things.

Step 5: Basic Driving Techniques test - 10-20 minutes

After a minimum of 11 hours of practice on the school's course, your teachers will use the 12th lesson to familiarize you with the route for the first driving practical test (技能試験 - ginou shiken). Once they think you can handle it, they'll mark off your report card (gah!) and you can do the test itself. If they're really nice, they might throw in an extra hour on the house so you can practice freely. The school will probably be able to conduct the test on their premises, though there's no guarantee your examiner will be anyone you've met before.

I was told that they look out for the following during the test:

1. Checking mirrors and blind spots before changing lanes
2. Ensuring safety at all times
3. Hill starts and driving on slopes
4. Accelerating to 40km/h at least once
5. Not hitting the kerb during an S bend or crank turn
6. Returning to the starting point and proper stopping procedure

An important thing about S bends and cranks: it's ok to kerb the car, as long as you know you've done it and back up a bit so you can make a second attempt. Running over the kerb without backing up leads to an automatic fail. Each time you back up it counts as a new attempt, so keep it under four and you'll pass that bit.

It's ok to miss a turn if you're not confident, and there's no need to overtake other drivers on the test should they be moving, but it's really important to obey any traffic signals, to check at all intersections before proceeding and to wind down your window while attempting the railway crossing.

You get no help from the examiner (duh), except for directions on where to turn so you don't have to memorize the course. I'm a bad driver and I still made it, so it's really not that scary.

Yes, gaijin get put last no matter what, but my case this was an advantage. I got to see someone else attempt the course and pick out their slip ups so I didn't make them myself. The test costs about ¥4830, but if you've paid your course fees in full it's ok. There are also long gaps in between waiting for everyone else to finish other things, so it's a good time to hit the theory book.

Step 6: Written Theory Test - 30 minutes

Once you finish the practical test, you have to sit a written test (学科試験 - gakka shiken) at the school or the nearest DMV. You CANNOT take the test until you've completed the practical part. While 50 true or false questions might sound like a cakewalk, it should be noted that the test is in Japanese and the passing mark is 90% or higher. There is an English version of the test for foreigners, but you only get one shot at it (ever), and it's only available in larger cities. In my case I had to take it at either the closest major city (Koriyama) or the prefectural capital (Fukushima-shi) since they didn't have it in English at my school, so everyone else got their learner's permit on the day but me. Boo.

I was asked to bring the following:

1. Alien Registration Card
2. Alien Registration Certificate
3. My practical test result from the driving school (修了証明書 - shuuryou shoumeisho)
4. Pencil, ballpoint pen and eraser
5. 2 to 3 ID photos of myself (the school provided these)

There are a number of forms to fill out, so get a Japanese speaker to help you if you're not confident. It's a really good idea to know your date of birth by the Japanese year system (Taisho, Showa, Heisei and so on) because all the forms ask for it that way.

If you take the test at the school you might use a photocopied answer sheet, but they use optical answer sheets at the DMV, hence the need for a pencil. The briefing before the actual test is fairly complicated, and you have to go it alone since you'll be in the exam hall, but hopefully the staff will help a confused looking gaijin fill out their details on the answer sheet. I thought the questions would be the ones I was told to memorize from my textbook, but when I opened my test booklet I realized I was gypped! So don't assume you can get by with just swotting.

It's a really good idea to pass the first time round - you have to make all subsequent attempts in Japanese if you fail. Not fun.

After the test you'll have to wait around a bit for them to mark your test, but it isn't too bad if you bring something to amuse yourself with. I took the time to scope out the takoyaki dispensing machine in the cafeteria ^^ If you pass, they'll issue you your Learner's permit (仮運転免許証 - kari unten menkyosho), which is just a piece of paper with your photo and an important looking stamp on it. Now you're ready to take on Part 2 of your driving course! Joy!

Radio JHS - Gooooooooood Morning 三中ぅぅぅぅぅぅ...!!!

Japanese people seem to love having music wherever they go (hence the invention of the Walkman) and my school is no exception. During lunchtime, the AV club students use the school's broadcast studio to play music so everyone else can eat their lunch to the strains of the latest pop songs.

The favourite seems to be an instrumental version of Whitney Houston's 80s hit "Saving All My Love" (ok, maybe not the latest, but the Jpop ones are!), which kicks off almost every lunchtime. I've asked, but no one seems to really know that the song is about a woman in love with a married man, and when I shared that little nugget of information with one of the English teachers she was just a tad embarrassed ^^

Today, I got to be a guest on the student council's "Seito-kai Time", where they asked me a few (thankfully) nonintrusive questions about where I was from, how many languages I spoke and so on. I had to help out the poor kid who was reading the questions in English because there were quite a few long words that were hard to pronounce. ^^ Man, I feel like a star now.

Before I bask in my own fame, I suppose I should mention that no one actually translated my replies back into Japanese, so everyone probably had no idea what I was saying. *sigh* Fame, she is a fickle thing...